Lessons Learned at the Park

So, I have these children, and they are kinda cute, extremely difficult, and even more diverse. Like my three sisters and I my girls are nothing alike. Sure, I have a few interests in common with two of my sisters, but we approach our shared interests in very different ways. Well, I have a child who has all of the odds stacked against her with mild mental retardation, dyslexia (like her Dad but moderate to severe) and seizure disorder and yet who manages to find acquaintances and friends everywhere she goes. I have the opposite of that as well. I have a child who at four could understand multiplication, was tested as gifted by a child psychologist, decided on her own at eight years old that she was a lacto-ovo vegetarian, and is constantly inventing things. This child however, is also extremely shy and introverted. I understand her, and today while we were at the park I was so happy for that. She was playing with her sister (it should be mentioned that this was the third sister not yet described) and there were a bunch of other kids there as well. The kids there though were not the type she would ever play with. I am not saying that to be judgemental, but because my little genius is very simple when it comes to clothing and hair, is somewhat of a tom boy, and doesn't understand silly girly girls. She likes ball caps, and t-shirts and shorts. She stopped letting me put anything in her hair when she was two by saying "Mom, I don't want to look cute! People will only see the cute, and then they won't realize I am smart." This from a two year old! Well, these girls at the park had giant hair bows, skirts, jewelry, and even sequin covered backpacks. Their moms were standing in a group chatting about material stuff while the girls were being catty at each other in an attempt to see who had more worth. I looked back and saw my daughter wandering off to an area a little away, and she was carrying a peice of her sandwich with her. At first, I thought she was upset for not fitting in, but then I saw the little black bird that looked as though it was on it's last legs scouring for food. Sure enough, while everyone else was worried how they appeared to everyone else there, she was concerned that there was a hungry animal somewhere and she knew she could help it. She threw bread crumbs down all over the ground and the hungry bird gobbled it all up. Then she walked back to me with a smile on her face. Ten minutes later I could see her wandering off again, and asked what she was doing. She said give me a second Mom, that little girl over there just had her feelings hurt, and no one even cares-except me. You would scare her, because your a grown up. I will help her. She went and talked to the little girl as I looked around me. Not one person noticed her sitting with her head down crying. Her mother saw her and just said "She needs to toughen up!" The kids who had called her stupid and other names (whose mothers where there and aware that they had done it) did nothing but laugh around her ignoring that they took part in any of it. I looked around and saw a complete lack of empathy by everyone there except one little brilliant strong girl. Later we got into the car to leave and I said to her "You don't understand why girls act like that, do you?" She responded "no" and I felt frustration at everyone else at the park. I began to be upset with the blindness all around me. I made a comment under my breath, and my compassionate example said to me in a strong voice "Mom, I know that you are upset. I know why you are upset. Those little girls and their mothers are the backbone of the world. They are going to grow up, get married, and have children. They will worry more about the kind of car they drive than world problems, but the families they have will comprise the world. They will laugh when they should cry, and as a result everyone around them will laugh, and they will be strong because they have less understanding." It reminded me that I need to be looking for opportunities to exhibit compassion and empathy on a daily basis, and do so outside of church callings and assignments. Because lets be honest, if you are doing it for a religion then you are doing it for a reward. To feel good, to appear good, to atone for sin, to gain eternal salvation, or because you want to get that leadership position and fit in. Those are all selfish reasons. I want to do it because I can feel someone elses heartache and have an understanding of that pain. I want to act on behalf of others because my love for them is so strong I want to help them heal and be whole. I want to be like my daughter. I want to be aware of suffering and needs without being tainted and depressed by them. She is my hero.